The Story of Us

The Story of Us

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Summertime Blues.

That's all there is to say. I don't know why I have them. Here it is almost the 4th and I want to be happy, but right now its really hard. Moving sucks. Especially in the middle of wedding season. It's even worse when you have to go without internet and most importantly email, because I knew there were people contacting me and then I just fell behind because so busy moving and then not being able to even check it! So I am just going to vent about why I am in a funk, this isn't for anyone but myself and I am hoping that getting it out will just make me feel a little bit better.
This is a blog of hates... brace yourself!
I hate living in chaos, I like being organized, I like unpacking and putting things in places and going through them and cleaning out what I don't want. I don't like having too much. I like getting rid of stuff. It makes me feel better. I can't do that. I don't have time to unpack my kitchen, my room, my bathroom. I hate searching through boxes or bags until I find what I need. I hate knowing I can't find anything and I swear its missing and it scaring me because I have no idea where it is or if I will ever even see it again. I like having a neat house. I do not have one. Nor do I think I will not be unpacked until like November. Seriously.
I hate that I don't have time to work out more. I hate that I hate working out. I hate that I hated all of my engagement pictures because I am so disgusted with the way I look. And it doesn't help when I have people reassuring my thoughts and pointing out my "pudge" or "bulges" obviously I know I have them, I know I am the heaviest I have ever been in my entire life. I am pretty sure I know that. I know I need to lose weight and tone up. But how can I make time when I have all this going on and am emotionally and physically exhausted. I am doing my best. I need to look amazing for the wedding and I know it will not happen. But I am giving an effort. A few days a week is better than nothing and hopefully it can be more and more... I wish I never let it get this bad in the first place.
I hate that I haven't had time to balance my checkbooks in like a month and have no idea what my balance is. AHHH. I hate that I am so worried about keeping track and making sure I need to set a budget for each project I do to make sure I set enough aside to support us and pay the bills and what about emergenices and all the things I know I will forget and then when it comes I will have to figure it out. I wish I didn't have to worry and we could travel more. I want to show Ben the world well experience the parts I haven't seen with him and share all those adventures together. I wish we could just travel for like 6 months and not have to work. I wish I didn't have to worry about money and budgeting everything I do. I don't want to let him down.
I hate that I can't get my weddings finished, because there is so much going on. I like being speedy and getting them done with. I love love shooting pictures. Editing not so much. So I get more stressed when there is like 3 or 4 projects piled on top of each other. I was doing SO WELL and being so on top of it and so happy and relieved and thought the summer was going to be a breeze. All until I moved and well now its all overwhelming me.
I guess I shouldn't even say "I moved" because well I didn't even do a quarter of it because I was working on the computer so much. Honestly I thank God for Ben everyday. I don't know where I would be without him. He is the one who got and currently gets up everyday (even drags friends over) to spend hours every day moving stuff from storage, trailer, cars, garage... basically spending all his spare time doing that. Or doing stuff for my parents. He has school full time and working and yet he manages to continue doing all this stuff for me.
He is the only reason I keep from going into an even deeper funk, because I have constantly been thinking about him and how I feel like I can't do everything and I am so stressed and yet he is doing it everyday for me. I am truly blessed.
But sometimes it is so hard to keep from sinking under.
One day at a time.
I wish I could wedding plan more. I wish I could enjoy the process. I wish I didn't just want summer over and fall to come when I could not be so busy. I wish I could spend more details and enjoy the finer things of a wedding to come. But its on the back burner. Which I am okay with, there are more important priorities to me. Honestly I am more excited to just be married. To just be with Ben. Everyday to come home to, or him to come home to me. To spend the evenings with and to not have to leave every night. I want to be married. I know our wedding will be one of the best days of my life and the memories and people we share it with will forever be cherished. But I want it here and done with. I want that day to start now. I don't want to plan for it, I just want it here. I want to fast forward to October right now. I will not miss summer.
I want to cook again. I want Ben to not work everynight. I want to see him more than like 2 hours a day and thats not consecutive, a few moments here and there are not enough to keep me sane. I want a night out just him and I. I want a night or day off when I am not freaking out in my head of all the things to do and just enjoy myself.
I wish for that day.

I am happy. I really am. I couldn't ask for a better life, a better man, a better home, friends or family or a better dog. I am truly blessed and am lucky beyond imagination. I have everything I want. I really do.
I just want it to be October and not July. Ha.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Lyla is 3 months!!!

Can't believe these 3 months have gone by so fast!
Little Lyla is 3 months,
and still just as adorable as ever!
So glad she was happy and all smiles this time :)

Monday, June 14, 2010

Meet Johana & Michael

Meet Johana and Michael
I have delayed in introducing you to them because of my chaotic life!
So thought I would add more than usual so you can see what a
cute, fun loving couple they are!!
They made the drive up to the shoreline to get some beach pics!!!
Thank goodness it was such a Beautiful Sunny Day!!!

Sneak Peek.... Stacie & Tim

Meet Stacie & Tim
and their Beautiful little girl!
You may remember them from their engagement shoot last fall on the beach!

Let me just say, Stacie you have been the best bride ever!
Seriously, loved shooting this wedding and the laid back, loving atmosphere.
Truly a joy & privilege to be a part of your special day!

Dance, Dance, Dance

So for the Month of May I am consumed by Dance! I go in for a whole week and take class and individual photos everyday. Then I proceed to edit, order, size, print & package for the three weeks until Recital Weekend. Once Recital weekend is here there are 4 shows that I am taking pictures for during and then handing out the finished packaged prints before, intermission and after shows. So its never ending.
This month was just extra long and hard because of the living situation (see blog post below) and trying to buy a house, pink eye, planning a wedding, shooting weddings and just a lot of chaos.
There are over 60 different classes ranging from Ballet, Jazz, Karate, Tap, Irish, Gymnastics, Hip Hop and i'm sure more... Then in every class there is anywhere from like 6-20 kids, so you do the math... that's a lot of pictures to edit!!!
So here is a picture explanation for all those who don't exactly know what I work on!!

by the way the theme for the recital this year was Lion King!!

Lion King: Full Jackson Ballet Company Cast

Little Ballerinas

Company Cast Photos

Tap Class

Recital Action Pictures (Jazz Class Performance)

Company Ballet Picture

Complete and utter Chaos

So I thought I would update on my living status... since right now I am living out of tubs and cars and just a lot of chaos. Also as busy and as hard as it has been this past month doing the Academy Dance Pics, I also have not had my normal computer/office/work station. As you can tell from the picture I have been working on a bar stool right next to the stove. So its a little cramped and a whole lot Killer on my back!! Like serious neck and back issues.
I will let the pictures explain themselves.....

p.s. It's been over a month now I have been living like this! Oh yeah and t wo weeks I have had pink eye too!!!

My small narrow closet, with stacks of clothes on the shelf.

The other tubs I am living out of blocking off the foot of the bed, there is actually 5 tubs here!

My food in tubs on the floor

My car which is loaded up including the whole backseat!

My backbreaking computer/office station! Seriously sucks!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Sneak Peek.... Joshua & Maribeth

So I shot this wedding Memorial Day Weekend, but I have been so extremely busy and this is so late (and having pink eye in both eyes doesn't help), so here they are.

Joshua & Maribeth
Full of sweetness and love
I loved shooting pictures on the farm with them!
Can't wait to show you more!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Pink Eye

I can't believe it is June already! It's just unbelievable how time flies! We are down to 4 months until the wedding :) Other than that I am busy spending hours and hours on editing every day. Literally. With the academy dance pictures I also have two weddings and a senior and Ben and I just had our engagement pictures done this week as well. Which I will totally get to editing those and putting them up but for now there is a lot more to deal with first.
Starting last weekend, on Sunday I went to the Urgent Care in the morning because my eye was so red and swollen, so off we went and I can't go without mentioning I have the best fiance ever because he got up and out of bed at like 8:30 and met me there completely unexpected! Now for Ben to get out of bed before like noon is a miracle and I am just constantly blown away by him as time goes on. He is more than anything I ever expected or thought I deserved. So anyways back to the pink eye, so they said it was or could be a mixture between a pink eye and allergies. So we got both eye drops just to knock them both out and hopefully get rid of it. Everyday it got a little less swollen and puffy but the white part of my eye got a little more red, so it was working some, I am not puffed up and can actually open my eye now. Then this morning I woke up and both my eyes were crusted over and now the other eye is really red too :( So yes working at my computer all day is adding so much stress on me emotionally and physically in so many ways, my neck and back are just completely messed up at this point, not to mention my shoulder is completely out of joint i swear and now both my eyes have pink eye!!! Just one more week though, one more week. Just have to make it through. Then I can blog more.

On a good note, I got my sample wedding invitation in the mail today and it makes me sooooo excited!!! 4 more months!!